Monday, August 29, 2011

vv......SAYU......vv

       Esok raya......apa perasaan? haha... Sebenarnya aku dah stop rasa excited nak raya lama dulu lagi. Sebab,...dot,dot,dot...hahah..
   
       Tadi aku bukak balik semua surat-surat dan kad-kad raya yang pernah aku dapat dulu. Aku tak bukak semua satu-satu lar, coz aku tau kalo aku buat camtu mesti skang ney hati aku tengah lembut sangat2..rasa cam nak nanges ja... Sekelumit rasa rindu dan sayu ( ceh,sekelumit ja?? haha ) sebab aku terkenang masa zaman dolu-dolu.., masa aku kecik-kecik...rajin betul tulis and tukar-tukar kad raya dengan kawan-kawan... Aku teringat kawan-kawan aku..., mungkin rasa bersalah jugak sebab aku rasa macam aku tak cukup baik dengan diorang. Aku bukan seorang kawan dan sahabat yang baik. Seriously I ain't perfect..

       Aku cuba jadi sahabat yang baik. hurmm, aku jenis orang yang susah nak rapat dengan semua orang. Tapi kalo dengan kawan-kawan yang cukup dekat dengan aku, kalo boleh aku tak nak hilang diorang. And bagi kawan yang agak-agak paling rapat dengan aku, aku sanggup buat apa saja untuk dia. Susah sebenarnya aku nak gambarkan perasaan aku. I have so much in my mind, my heart, but I couldn't express them. I want them to know just how much I appreciate them. But I just don't know how.

        Ia buat aku takut sebenarnya. Aku takut untuk berkawan. Aku takut kalo-kalo aku tak mampu nak bagi komitmen yang diperlukan. Cukup tak kalo aku cakap yang aku sentiasa ingat diorang. Ingat segala kenangan kitorang bersama, walaupun aku tak pernah take the inisiatif to call and do the contacts. Seorang sahabat itu tidak terhad kepada how many contacts they do right? It's the thought that supposed to count, does it??

          But they wouldn't know. They wouldn't know and they will despise me. They will despise me coz they think that I never care, which the truth is I do care. I live my life with memories full of them. It's just that I have no enough courage to further our relationship. Ughh, I don't know... And what crap I'm talking about??!



         Lagu nie untuk semua orang yang pernah kenal aku personally. Yang sanggup bear dengan aku eventhough I'm lacking in so many ways. There's no enough words to tell you that you guys lighten and cherish my days so well....I love you and I miss you XOXO....
     







2 comments:

Madi Benji said...

I was once in your shoe and yet just now. Be strong and dont worry that your friend would think bad of your when the fact is they arent so. We love you so much too and yet we are too lacking in so millions ways. Though I had least memory with you but that will always remain unchange.

miss aten said...

dear madi,
you'll always live in my memory too., even its a short one. but you are there.
='] <3<3<3

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