Saturday, October 13, 2012

KEYAKINAN DAN KEBERANIAN ADALAH ASAS KEJAYAAN




MELANGKAH MAJU KE HADAPAN  > LETIH + BERJAYA =  BANGGA

MELANGKAH UNDUR KE BELAKANG  > LETIH + GAGAL =  TERHINA 


" Kita ke mari bukan untuk kembali. Kita hanya ada DUA pilihan ;

1. Samada memenangi peperangan ini dan tinggal di sini ,

   atau

2. Kita kalah serta binasa bersama. ! " *


                      * Tariq Bin Ziyad ketika hendak menakluki Kostantinopel (Sepanyol).



        I'm gonna STAY!!!! Whatever hardship awaits me, I'm gonna be STRONG! Forget the tiredness. Focus on the outcome. I'll be ready to overcome every single misfortune just by three years time. Only 3 years. 
        It's the experience you're looking for. So GO 4 IT! 


So that one day you'll think back and be proud of yourself. That you were so thankful for making this choice. And you'll get a wonderful lots of things to share to your children and grand, even great-grandchildren.




Thursday, October 4, 2012

mati x kenal usia kan?



         Astaghfirullahalazim, astaghfirullahalazim, astaghfirullahalazim.....
     
         Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..... Ya Allah, ampunkan dosa-dosaku, dosa kedua orang tuaku, adik-beradik, para muallim dan muallimah yang pernah mengajarku, sahabat-sahabat yang pernah mengenali diri ini, dan juga dosa seluruh umat Islam yang pernah dan sedang hidup di dunia ini. Selawat dan salam dihulurkan buat junjungan besar Nabi Muhammad S.A.W serta seluruh keluarga Baginda. Aminnn Ya Rabbal 'Alaminnn......

        Tepat jam 11:40 malam tadi, my mom just called. She informed me that one of my friends from elementary school, Firdaus Tajudin had passed away early this evening. I was shocked! He's just the same age as me. Ya Allah, sungguhlah mati itu tidak mengenal usia. Semoga dirinya ditempatkan dalam kalangan orang-orang beriman.

          I'm speechless. I'm afraid. What if that was me? The time could just be anytime, any when. Ya Allah, sungguh aku banyak noda. Namun aku tidak mampu menghadapi neraka-Mu  Ya Tuhan. Ampunkan aku Allah. Ampunkan daku.

          Firdaus Tajudin leaves quite a unique memory to me. We were in the same school for three years. Not to mention two years in the kindergarten. During the age of 10 or standard 4, he moved to another school. His mom and my mom are friends. A colleagues, a teacher. We took the same van to school. His mom knows me well. And my mom knows him well. I met him coincidentally during standard 6 at USM, the place I'm writing this right now. Just a short meeting. Not quite a meeting actually, just we acknowledge each other. He went back to SMAI and I went to MMAS. We have no reason to see each other again. But the last time I saw him was in form 1. I visited Islah and that's when I know that he went back to Islah.

          That was all that I know about him. His mom moved school too. So I have no reason to even know whatever anything about him and his family.  A big condolences for his family. I know that his other family members cared so much for him for he is the magnae.

          Ya Allah, matikan daku dan orang-orang sekelilingku dalam iman dan taqwa. Amiinnnnn Ya Rabbal 'Alaminnn...

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

dear future husband


 

                                                               
Wahai bakal suamiku,
Apa khabar dirimu?
Sihatkah imanmu?
Bagaimana  agamamu?
.....................................







Arghhh, this is crap! Geli cair isi telinga aku nak memikir menyambung ayat sengal kat atas tuh.
That is not my genre lah. Nak membaca boleh, but I've stop writing those ayat bunga-bunga nie lama dulu dah.




Abang, where are you? I hope I can meet you soon.
Whoever you are, just live in my mind, okay? And in my du'a too.
I have so much to tell you.
At this moment, I have no one to share my stories, my thoughts.
I hope I could meet you real soon. I can't wait to share everything with you.

Please, and please... Come and find me soon. I'm dying in my own thoughts.
And remind me not to tell out those stories to other guy, okay? I want to share them just with you, my real husband. 


Please save me.



And when that time comes, would you sincerely listen to me?




Tuesday, July 3, 2012

CINA OR MELAYU ; MELAYU OR CINA ???



            Alhamdulillah, tadi tercapai jugak impian nak takluk Bukit H yang berdiri  bongkak kat Taman Semarak nuh. Berbekalkan cuma segelas air masak yang aku sempat teguk sebelum keluar rumah tu, aku start lah mendaki... Ohhh, memang bukan kerja mudah semudah masak air. Berapa kali aku mengalah. Rasa nak pitam, nak muntah, nak rebah semua ada. Tapi lepas rehat seketika, kumpul semangat balik, aku teruskan jugak.

                     

        

              Asalnya memang naik dengan bapak aku. Gila apa aku nak pi merendek luar rumah sensorang. Masuk hutan pulak tuh, memang tak ah kan.. Tapi disebabkan aku baru amateur lah orang cakap, bapak aku tahap advance punya level, dan aku sangatlah bertolak ansur orangnya.,aku insist la bagi bapak aku jalan dulu. Takpe, kalau aku boleh sampai memang kira pecah rekod ah, tapi kalau aku tak sampai pun bukan ada Guinness Record nak catat rekod aku tu pun kan..           
       
         So basically most of the times memang aku jalan sensorang lah. Bagi menyahut seruan kerajaan yang mungkin bakal bertukar tampuk pimpinan tu, aku senyum jer tiap kali jumpa berselisih dengan sesapa yang turut naik turun mendaki dekat situ. 95% orang tua jer beb, budak muda ada la kot dua tiga empat lima enam tujuh orang. Jumpa orang tua aku senyum tayang gigi. Jumpa budak muda gen XY aku tunduk muka bilang tanah dan anak batu yang aku dah sempat daki. Malu! (cehh,piirahh!)

 

            Bila jumpa orang tua cina..:
“ Pagi...”
“ Aih, penat dah ka? Takpa,pelan-pelan.”
“ Lu sorang ja ka?”  Yang nie aku jawab : “ heheh, abah dah ada kat atas..” *senyum lagi*           

         Bila jumpa makcik melayu..(makcik jer,pakcik okey..) :
Pandang aku sebelah mata pun idak, senyum kau jangan haraplah kan.
Tiba-tiba telinga lintah aku cepat jer menangkap ayat yang keluar dari mulut merekah makcik sorang tuh kepada kawan dia yang makcik jugak. 
 “ Hang tengok, segak macam tu jalan sorang..” (nada sinis lagi skeptis)
Aku yang terdengar kelam muka sekejap. Kening aku automatik naik sebelah. Ek, makcik nie cakap tentang akukah?? Macam terasa ja...
                     

        Dalam hati aku rasa panas sekejap. Deyy makcik, apahal main
cakap-cakap belakang neh? Tak puas hati datang depan ar.., boleh aku explain yang.., saya nie tak jalan sensorang lar, bapak saya dah jauh ke depan. Dah kaki saya nie yang sebenarnya lebih tua dari usia, dan kaki bapak saya tu lagi muda dari apa yang dilihat, makanya saya nie terpaksa akur akan suratan takdir bahawasanya saya memerlukan masa tambahan bagi melaksanakan mission impossible ini. Ada paham...?



 


            Tapi hati kecil sebenarnya melonjak happy... Eh, aku nie segak ka? Ada jugak orang nak kata aku ada rupa kan. Takpe lar, makcik punya pasal, saya telan jer apaper pun yang makcik cakap. Haha, bukan senang nak ada orang puji aku. Selama nie kejian ja yang aku dok dengaq.
            


         Tapi betul la, typical malay.., mengutuk jer tau., menolongnya tidak. Dah la kerja kutuk orang, kutuk belakang pulak tu. Depan-depan diam membisu ngalahkan patung lilin. Tahu takut ek. Suka sangat buat assumption sendiri, macam tu mana tak banyak salah faham? Dosa pun banyak, iyer dok?
   

 



Sunday, June 17, 2012

cintakah lelaki kalau tak berani menjejak wali?



Assalamualaikum...
Entry kali ini aku tujukan buat diriku dan juga sahabat-sahabat perempuan tercintaku.

 Honestly, aku dah cukup penat mendengar cerita dan luahan hati sahabat tersayang yang sering kalah dan lemah apabila berhadapan dengan musuh utama remaja : CINTA .

Aku juga manusia
Tak pernah lepas dari khilaf
Aku juga remaja
Tak hilang rasa untuk bercinta
Aku juga seorang gadis
Tak terkecuali mudah lemah pabila dirayu.


Namun sebenarnya,
Aku adalah hamba
Cinta-Nya yang mesti aku dahulukan
Yang sepatutnya aku agungkan dan junjung tinggi
Kerna saat ajalku menjemput
Lelaki itu hanya mampu memandang kaku
Dan rahmat Allah jua yang bisa menyelamatkanku.




secebis perkongsian prinsip hidup aku :


   Untuk berkorban, menangis, bergaduh, dan memusnahkan diri kita semata-mata kerana seorang lelaki yang bukan bernama suami adalah suatu perbuatan bodoh(mind my word) yang sangatlah childish yang takkan membawa sebarang makna pun. 
    Aku tahu korang yang terlibat tak pernah minta pun untuk menangis atau berduka apatah lagi dilukai insan bernama lelaki. Namun satu yang mesti korang akui, korang yang tempah bala tu. Bak kata pepatah, jika takut dilanda ombak, jangan berumah di tepi pantai. Nasihat dari aku yang tak seberapa nie, janganlah bermain dengan api. I know, most of the cases lelaki yang memulakan. Tapi kita mesti akui, jika bukan perempuan yang melayan dan tertawan, there is NO WAY that the guy could harm us in any way, even the slightest bit. 




   

Sunday, June 3, 2012

kenyataan yang sering dilupakan.

Alhamdulillah. Selepas apa yang terjadi, buat aq teringat pada suatu pernyataan yang juga suatu kenyataan.
     " Lelaki yang boleh berkata manis bak menanam tebu di tepi bibir kepada seorang gadis sebelum terjadinya akad nikah, bukanlah lelaki yang baik. "
       Kenapa begitu?
       Jika sebelum berkahwin lagi lelaki itu sudah berani menaburkan kata-kata cinta kepada gadis yang bukan miliknya, usah terkejut andai anda bukan wanita pertama yang mendengar kata-kata itu dari mulut si dia. Dan usah juga berharap bahawa anda adalah wanita terakhir yang kononnya bertakhta di hati si dia.

        Lelaki yang soleh hanya akan berbicara selayaknya dan seindahnya buat zaujah tercinta.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

diterimakah taubatku??

Kita selalu dengar orang cakap, : ' Aq dah buat banyak dosa. Adakah Allah akan menerima solatku, doaku, serta taubatku? Aq rasa diriku x layak untuk mengharap apa pun daripada Dia. '
       Sejurus itu kita terus leka dengan dunia. Berputus-asa seolah-olah sudah tiada sinar baru untuk kita di hari esok. Berserah pada takdir, meski sekilas keinsafan sesekali menerpa benak.
      
       Cuba jujur dan tanya diri sendiri.
1. Adakah aq betul-betul sudah bersedia untuk bertaubat?
2. Adakah aq yakin yang aq tidak akan mengulangi kesalahan itu lagi?
3. Adakah aq cukup berani berhadapan dengan rakan-rakan?
    - tidakkah mereka akan mentertawakan dan memerli aq kerana kononnya sudah berubah?
4. Benarkah aq cukup bersedia untuk berhenti selamanya daripada maksiat itu?
5. Bolehkah aq berubah menjadi orang baru, cukup kuatkah diri ini?

      Cuba tanya diri kita soalan-soalan di atas, sebelum dengan semberononya mengingkari sifat pemurah dan penyayang Allah. Sebelum kita meragui sifat belas ehsan yang tidak terhingga dari Tuhan Pencipta Alam., Allah S.W.T.

     Yakinlah, Dia Maha Mengetahui, Maha Mengasihani, Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Pemurah. Berdoalah, sesungguhnya Dia sentiasa mendengar dan sentiasa memperkenankan.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

in love with GOKUSEN!


Hahhaahh, I know I'm late already, but I've just discovered this. GOKUSEN is such a GREAT drama! It really IS! I laugh at how idiot those episodes are, and cried at how touching they got me. And I would looovvveeee to see Yankumi ended with Sawada Shin! Not to forget, it's alluring to see Oguri Shun in this drama too, aside from Matsumoto Jun of course. Ohhoohh, Shun or Uchi in the drama, his hairstyle change from time to time. It was so fun to watch!
 matsumoto jun aka sawada shin


 yukie nakama aka yankumi
 oguri shun aka haruhiko uchiyama

Sunday, April 29, 2012

~~ already ended ~~

at laaasssstttt................

I've completed my matrix's life. After this, I'm going for a degree.... YeAAA!!
But honestly, I miss my life there. It was comfortable, and I very much like it there and then.
I miss my classmates, my kuliah mates and my roommates for sure. Alhamdulillah, I got a great roommates. The four of us get along well.. haha.. They are Efah, Tiniey and Shidah. All four of us have our own charms and personalities. Practically it's a great combination.  ^___^

 from left : efahtinieyatenshidah :)




  As for my classmates, it was so much my ups and downs with you guys. You cherish my life there. Aku ingat lagi, che texted aku, cakap yang Cekgu Razib suruh bawa pakaian PJ esok tu. Aku yang naif ney pun dengan innocence nya bawa la baju and seluar esok tu. Esoknya, C.Razib didn't even turned up for class pun! Sakitnya hati masa tu hanya Tuhan yang tahu! Buat berat beg ja! Empat2 org kena gula sekaligus pulak tu! Nasib baik ada kawan, empat2 kena. Kalau tak memang aku kerat 18 tiga orang jejaka tu.
 And tak lupa juga, pada suatu malam yang hening, dalam pukul 2.3 pagi macam tu, aku yang baru sahaja melelapkan mata, tetiba sahaja mendapat satu panggilan. " haish,hantu mana menganggu waktu2 neyh?" It turned out hantu ' c. f ' yang datang buat angkara. Time tu aku still dalam mode innocence and pure lagi, tak reti nak bercakap dalam fon dengan lelaki. So I rejected his call several times. But he still calling. Last2 dia texted me suruh ajak qiam! Memang la bagus kan ajak qiam apa bagai. Tapi agak-agak la,, aku bukan gf dia! Just as friend pun dia dah buat aku macam tu, agaknya kalau dengan gf dia apa lagi kerja gila yang dia nak buat ntah. (heheh,fren, jgn mara nehh ;) ) Nasib ko la kena sembur dengan aku.. Tahu alasan dia apa? DIA TAK BOLEH TIDUR! huh,rasa macam nak baling kasut jaa...

 pejozabyche_utyunaatenayu


  Not to forget, faizaypiesabree_suainnaimahasma, cheraszhafirstoo_alynlienaatineton, pidahhaidarikram_imahilawaniefarahin , dan  azruldaus_efahtinidilahlindahajarmilla .
You guys and girls spices up my life! Pedas,masam,masin,manis,kelat,tawar,payau  semua ada. hahaha... Hope we'll see each other again. Ameeennnn...

 hohohohoho!
 alyn!!!!

 linda!
 lovely ^^

Sunday, April 8, 2012

MATRIX IS NEARING ENDdd!!!!!!!

 MAJLIS GRADUASI 
HOTEL HOLIDAY VILLA, ALOR SETAR










Friday, March 9, 2012

* cinta slps kawen e2 INDAH *


 ~✿>> Kepada Hawa. Biarlah Adam yang mencari sendiri tulang rusuknya yang hilang. Hawa pula, tunggulah dan bersabarlah, tak perlulah kamu yang mencari Adam. Kerana kamu tetap tulang rusuknya yang hilang, dia akan datang mencarimu dan mengambilmu satu hari nanti.

Apa yang boleh kamu usahakan Hawa ialah berdoa agar Adam yang datang itu adalah Adam yang beragama, beramal dengan agamanya dan punya akhlak yang baik. Dengan kata lain dapat membimbing kamu ke jalan yang lurus untuk ke syurga..♥♥




 Seorang bapa bertanya kepada bakal menantunya:

"Mengapa engkau nak cepat kahwin dengan anak pakcik? Bagi 7 alasan engkau."

1. dah jumpa pasangan, harus dicepatkan kahwin (hadith)
2. nak jaga mata, hati dan kemaluan
3. nak ikut sunnah, kahwin, ajal bila2 masa sahaja
4. nak ada zuriat yg dapat bahagia dan doakan kami, mati bila2 masa aje
5. dapat beribadat dengan pahala yang berganda bila sudah punya isteri, sedangkan memandangnya sahaja sudah perolehi pahala
6. dapat merasa tanggungjawab sebagai suami dan menjadi seorang yg lebih berfikir lebih matang serta bijaksana bagaimana nak menyara keluarga
7. nak ambil amanah ibu dan ayahnya dan jaganya serta didiknya dengan kehidupan agama
8. saya sayang dan cintakan anak pakcik ♥


 


   footnote :  aq nak kawen muda.... ^^
                   ameennn..


Friday, January 27, 2012

has anyone ever care about me?

has anyone ever care about me? even the slightest bit? i feels so lonely. seems like i have no one. i have no one since the start of time, until now and i think i will forever be this way. i've always be alone. as for everyone else, no matter how hard this world be, they say that they still always have a family. but for me? what do i have? who do i have? no one ever think about me. there were times, though that i thought they do think about me. i thought that they do care. it seemed so genuine. as i'm writing this, my tears is flowing down my eyes, through my cheek, dropping down from my chin.
        who am i? since i was very little, i tend to think that i'm actually adopted. i'm not real. i'm someone else. how could i be here.? this is not true. how could i even be borned? they don't want me. they dislike me. they hate me. so why should i be here.? this is not reality. i wish doraemon really exist, i wish he could take me far from this thoughtless world. i want to hide. to a place where no one know me. yes, i would like to be an alien, anything. i want to be away from everyone here. i want to run away. away from my parents. away from my families. i have no one in my world. i'm a loner. and being a loner, i guess the right thing to be, rather than feeling upset and disappointed most all the time of your life. i'm tired. i'm tired of crying. i'm kind of fed up with it. luckily my school taught me a lot about religion. or else i think i won't be here now, writing this thing. i must be dead if i didn't take all that into consideration.



   p/s :  i was just upset because my camera was lost. i just bought it. not even half a year that camera's time with me. i miss it a lot. yeah, 'that felon' do pay me back. but i want my camera back! that's my first digital camera that i bought with my own ringgit! i've been wanting a digital camera since primary, and i just got it when i set my foot on college. and now it's lost! ohh, this is making me crazy.   so i'm rather fed up to use my own money now.  T__T

m3m0r!3$ -_-


Hella miss maahad's time..aq rindu nisa', mina, azuwa, umai, zyrah, syefi, alya, aten, shida, amar, and everyone there... It was so much fun. We laugh a lot. HAHA. We argue a lot too.. DAMN. I have so much in my mind right now. Too much of it. However i just don't know how and where to start.
        Somehow i feel that amongst all, I'm the most stupid one. I'm the lowest in studying, I'm the lowest in akhlak. Why do I keep being the lowest? Nevertheless I do not upset, coz I know that I'm better, just that I am TOO LAZY TO STRUGGLE.
        FATIN AMIRAH ZAINAL.. Aren't you ashamed? All of your friends are too far ahead you.  They succeed in so many things. Their relationship with people are great. Their relationship with Allah are superb. But how are you? You are a failure. You knew it yet you do nothing to improve. Please aten, make a change. You don't want to end up in hell. Start a change now, you never know what the future holds.

 But lets share about them... I presents you....: ZUFFAJINASS!!!!

 
at pendang lake resort. dread nightmare that has turned into reality bg aq.



 otw to dwan badlishah.i miss this ol'time..

 yeah,during F3.Aspurawie rocks!

ma best frens ever.we laugh n curse a lot.HAHA.

 back from annual dinner.DAEBAK!

 umai,syefi,shida,aten n aten.heheh





Friday, January 20, 2012

m!$3r@bI_3 -_-

this is hard
i feel like isolating myself
to a place where no one could find me
where no one would know me
just being there myself
and myself only.


friends makes you happy
they could cure your sorrows
but apart from that
they also may cause you tears.


in my case
i'm dying of laughter because of friends
and it's because of friends too
my life gets so miserable
too miserable that i feel like 
ending it here.


is it wrong to be secretive?
is it wrong to not telling anyone how you feel?
is it wrong to have a crush secretly?
why do everyone need to know?


i feel like the whole wide world despise me
it was so fine before
why must it turn out to be this way?


      p/s : acting normal....even it's hard.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

ALHAMDULILLAH!

          Alhamdulillah...,thank you Allah, thank you Allah, thank you Allah for giving me Band 4 in MUET. Thank you for giving me the chance to succeed. I've failed my SPM, and my Matrix's certificate is not yet to be proud of. So I seek forgiveness from You, himpunkan kami dalam Jannah-Mu. Ameennn.


Sunday, January 1, 2012

I am nineteen now!!!!

    Hope we'll perform better in this new upcoming year...
Takder nak rant apa pun actually..
Hurmm,
suka itu fitrah kan?
cinta itu fitrah kan?
sayang itu juga fitrah kan?
tapi,
macam mana kita kendalikannya yang menentukan benda tu salah or opposites.
sebagai perempuan, apatah lagi remaja,
aku akui,
diri aku tak sekuat mana..
so....
please....
i'm begging 'you',
stop doing that...
stop all your sweet talk...
stop all caring and stuffs...
stop treating me for anything...
and the most of all,
stop your persistent gazing...
I'm sick of it.


 oh, how i wish this could happen to me..~